Lingering Tendencies.

If you look at life as if it were a box, how would you see yourself fitting into the box? I see everything in constant motion. Everything has a purpose, a mission, a goal, something that its trying to achieve. I feel like I don’t. Sometimes it’s as if the world moving but I never move with it. I feel like the purpose I serve is to drift around popping in and out of peoples lives, possibly changing them but never changing myself. Maybe that’s just it though. We all serve some kind of purpose and people spend ages trying to find out what they were meant to do, but maybe it’s not that difficult. We look for some hidden meaning to life because we know that life ends, so it has to be more than just messing up and fixing mistakes, drifting around and coming back again. Stepping back though, life is life. There is no secret message; there is no hidden meaning. Facing reality is, to bluntly put it, beak and disheartening. However, it is relieving in the sense that life becomes simple. It allows one to strip away the wandering thoughts and hopes that surround things and focus on more important tasks. So, perhaps I do drift. Perhaps that is the only thing I do, and the only thing I will be good at doing. But it’s simple. And nothing needs to be too complicated.


Best of Both Worlds

Two conflicting worlds at it again. The good vs. the bad. My dog thinks she is a princess. My family is in chaos. Drama is starting. The workload of school is piling up. Ah, breathing in the good air of the almost Fall weather. With the first three weeks behind the student body, everyone is back in place. The populars are back to being ignorant and annoying, the athletes are back to being athletic, everyone is back in their social groups. The orderly madness is refreshing yet repetitive, and absolutely delightful. High School is officially back, and this blog goes against all of my blogging beliefs.

High school, however, is not my problem. I seem to be facing the age old conflict of a raging heart and a rather realistic brain. I view love as a touchy and horribly dangerous  thing. I never wanted to fall in love but I did. I know I am young. I’ve gotten every speech imaginable, but at my age love isn’t about the marriage and starting a family type thing. It’s about learning, and learning is exactly what I am doing.  In my little love life, I have Person A and Person B. Person A is someone I’ve known for three years, two of which I spent dating him. He’s a horrible person, he does not live in the same state as me, and I’m absolutely in “love” with him. It has been like that for all of the three years. Person B on the other hand has been in my life for a little over one year. We’ve been talking for nine months, he’s nice, he’s funny, and I can’t stand him but I really like him. I am faced with choosing which guy. I put myself in the situation, and I should just stop all things with both of them and interest myself in Person C, whom I haven’t met yet. I  am a teenaged girl though, and my life simply doesn’t work like that. It’s a good vs. evil, classic, teenaged, battle in my brain for my heart. Honestly, it could probably be a book at the rate it is going.

I think the whole image of school is one of the most brilliant things I get to witness. Within the halls of my school, my future is made. No longer is it freshmen year, or middle school. Built from several classrooms, a sad looking group of drama oriented students, and teachers, the foundation for the rest of my life is developed. Without the perfect mix of everything, college and the rest of my life is made unreachable. How wonderfully challenging and unpredictable it can be.

Readers, I have also finished the Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald. Please read this book if you have not done so already.

Thank you for putting up with my very juvenile blog post. My life is not that interesting and there are a few things I do need to express to something/someone other than my friends.

First World Problems

I was sitting with one of my best friends today at Starbucks. We were discussing the first week of school and she was sharing her viewpoint on things. I had mentioned to her that I no longer kept up with the social media of our age group because, in my opinion, I believe it all sounds like irrelevant, narcissistic, unnecessary, bullshit. I don’t wish to concern my life or waste my time focusing on that. A few minutes later she turned to me and said that she didn’t want to be left out of social media and seemed concerned that I hadn’t heard or read about the Twitter fight two girls in our grade had the previous night. It was in that moment; in that comment, that I realized how absolutely foolish people my age are. Earlier my friend had also mentioned that she didn’t like one of the girls who participated in the Twitter fight. This set me off on a rant that I would like to share on here.

First of all, I am in highschool. Everyone I surround  myself with (for the most part) is in high school. Never should a Twitter fight, or an Instagram picture, or someone talking bad about someone else be so concerning to others. I should not be criticized against because I choose to not care about a Twitter fight. It’s about time people my age grow up. What happens on Twitter is no concern to anyone except who it’s happening to, and quite frankly, to those it concerns, it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Why is what two girls are arguing about more relevant than other things. I also am not a fan of one of the girls that participated in this, and when my friend told me about the fight I stopped her and told her I didn’t care. If I don’t like someone, I’m not going to waste my time listening to their problems. It’s not relevant to me. My friend, who also claims not to like her, was overly concerned about what had happened. I don’t understand why any of it is so important. When these kids get to college, if they get to college, they are going to look so foolish and dumb if they go around asking if people had heard what had happened on Twitter. Maybe the majority of people don’t realize how stupid it sounds because the majority of people concern themselves with things like that, or participate in it…but honestly to the rest of us, you could not sound dumber. I wish more people would grow up and mature a bit. We’re not in middle school. We’re not even freshmen. Things like this shouldn’t matter anymore. But yet they do matter to so many.

Another thing that got me today was what one of my other friends did. Now she has made it very clear that she wants to be valedictorian, but she refuses to take any class that would give her less than an A. This results in her taking all regular classes. I’m not saying that this won’t very easily give her the highest grades in our class but, colleges don’t necessarily look at the grades. They look at whether you challenge yourself or not. She refuses to challenge herself if it means she won’t pull an A, and she refuses to believe that a challenging class will benefit her more than an A in an easy class will. This year she decided to take honors math. I took the class the previous year and I can confirm that it is not a class you get an A in. Anyways, she came into newspaper bawling her eyes out. I asked her what happened and she said that she had made a 78 on her math quiz and that her grade was now a 78 in the class. She also explained that she wanted to drop the course because she didn’t have an A. I wanted to slap some sense into her. My generation is so unprepared to fail. I take all honors and ap classes. I haven’t had straight A’s in years. From this experience I have learned so much about being able to recover and try harder. I’ve learned that taking a B in a rigorous ap course is not an awful thing. I’ve come to understand that my B in my ap biology class I took freshmen year will get me further than anyone’s A they got in college prep biology. You have to fail, you have to get less than an A, you have to be challenged in order to be successful. It teaches you and builds your academic level. If you drop every class that somewhat challenges you for an easier one, you will get nowhere in life. In the real world, you can’t just drop your job because you don’t know how to do something. You can’t drop college because you don’t have a good grade in a class. You have to have experience to know how to fix it. You have to have failed previously in your life to learn what to do when you fail again. My generation doesn’t understand it, and unfortunately for my “future valedictorian,” she’s  not going to get far with her current academic attitude.